What do you believe in? Fate? Chance? Accumulation of random choices leading your path in life? Personally, I believe its a combination of all the above. This week marks my husband’s thirty-…..ish birthday, he rather I not divulge the specific number, and every year I recall how lucky I am to have this man in my life. Regardless of who or what or how it all came to be, I can narrow down three key decisions that brought two strangers to meet, speak and kindle a relationship that I foresee lasting our lifetimes.
1 The decision to wear my basketball tracksuit to my university classes. Yup, you read it right. I remember like it was yesterday. My second year, I had a horrendous Tuesday and Thursday class schedule. Classes began at 7am with non-stop lectures and labs throughout the day to peak with an evening seminar finishing around 9pm and to satisfy my athletic side my night was capped with a round of intramural basketball. One Thursday morning I just decided, hell with it, I have a long day and wanted to be comfortable. I walked downstairs in my old high school basketball warm up gear and I thought my mother was going to drop her full cup coffee. My mother, God love her, treated my everyday at post secondary a chance to meet worthy gentlemen callers and perhaps my future husband. Therefore dressing like I was ready to hit the gym was not proper attire for her stratagem. Unbeknownst to my mother wearing that sweatsuit was exactly what caught my now husband’s eye. Across the half full auditorium, the pony tail sporting, blond hair, blue eyed, petit, athletic woman caught his attention for the first time.
2 Saying yes to a mid week night cap. The Thursday evening seminar was actually a class my husband and I were both registered in. Usually at the end of the class our professor would announce that he would be partaking in an evening beverage at a university pub and that everyone was invited to join. Now usually at the end of my Thursday nights I had to run to basketball but there was one night in particular when I was not scheduled to hit the court. I was corralled by a group of fellow students, my husband included (although at this point we never had a full conversation yet) and they requested my attendance. Even though my body was crying for rest and my introverted spirit wanted to crawl into a corner thinking of how awkward the evening could become, I shut out all my inner voices and decided to appear. It was that night over two Traditional beers at the bar where my husband and I sat and chatted for the first time.
3 Delaying a return trip home. The last decision was not made by me, but by my husband. It was the day we had our first unofficial date of mountain biking in the local river valley. We ended up at my husband’s apartment where he was preparing to leave the city to go back home to his parent’s farm for the summer to work for his dad. Call it meant to be, but I did not hesitate to spend the last few hours with him before he departed for a few months. What started as him leaving within a hour to be home for dinner turned out to be delayed not by a couple of hours but the whole night. He continued to call his parents over and over again updating his estimated time of arrival.
CALL #1:“Don’t wait for me to have dinner, I will be home later on in the evening.”
CALL #2: “Don’t wait up, I will be home late, see you in the morning.”
CALL #3: “Decided I am going to stay here tonight, I will be home for work by 7 am.”
That day we realized that we had more than the immediate physical attraction. What was a spark grew to a magnetic attraction. We had shared our personal selves and trying to pull us apart that evening felt like an impossible feat. I ended up leaving his apartment in the early hours the next morning. No, nothing happened, but I was feeling guilty causing him to wake up at an ungodly hour to drive the hour and a half commute home to work a full day with only a couple hours of sleep. Although, I do have to admit it was hard feeling low because my head was as high as a kite with freshly kissed lips.
We have been together 14 years,
Married for 10,
And have a beautiful family together.
We have our ups and downs but I have never regretted nor wished those three decisions would have been decided any differently. Whenever I feel low about generic adult-ing issues I remember these three specific choices. I remember how at the time they were generally mundane selections to be made but how they have changed my life. They gave me a a friend, my spouse, my partner in crime: my second half.
For those in a relationship, can you think of how your paths collided? Can you narrow it down to a few key choices?
For those who are still looking for your soul mate, take from my experience: be comfortable in your skin, follow your heart and push yourself beyond your comfort zone, you never know what or who you might find.